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I've been trying to write this post for a while now. But for some reason, every time I sit down to write it, I get all nervous but giddy, like I'm back in the ninth grade trying to talk to the cute boy in my science class.
Hopefully, what I'm working on now will last a little longer than that crush. But if it doesn't, I'll be happy I did it.
My name's Natalie, and I'm writing a novel.
So, there it is. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed about it.
I lie--I do know why. I'm scared that what I'm writing is complete and utter junk. I am really, really hard on other people's writing (thanks, English grad school), and I know that what I'm writing is nowhere near as awesome as my favorite authors. I am a literary critic and professor by training, not a writer. However, I would like to point out that I was the second place winner of the 2003 Post and Courier "Wild Tales for Cool Kids" writing contest. I'm guaranteed to write a bestseller with those credentials.
Plus, I have this idea that established authors are (generally) awesome, but beginning writers are kind of dorky. How many people do we all know who are writing a novel, and you think, "You're writing a novel? I didn't even know you could address an envelope!" (Though, this may just be me being overly critical....)
Granted, I'm not completely done with the actual writing, and I haven't even begun to think about the editing, but that doesn't stop me from blanching at the idea of sending the manuscript out to agents and all of them laughing in my face. I've always been better at dishing out the criticism.
I don't know if I'll actually get this published, but it's something I've wanted to do for a while. I'll feel fulfilled just getting it done.
Anyway, I hope that you'll all send good thoughts and happy inspiration my way. And if, by chance, you'd like to help me whip my novel into shape when I'm finished writing, let me know! You can also keep up with my writing progress by checking out the "That Which Remains" section in my right sidebar.